Coaching Corner: Avoid the Passive Voice Like the Plague

One of an intermittent series of posts around issues I see often in my writing coaching.

==

Oh, Lord. Save me from the passive voice.

I see this issue come up so often for writers, I’m horrified to notice I’ve never written a blog post addressing the subject. I certainly have ranted about it enough elsewhere!

For the record, passive voice isn’t always awful and the epitome of all evil. In science writing, for instance, you see passive writing everywhere. And that’s a good place for it. But if you want to write a page-turner—fiction or non-fiction—you’re better off writing the vast majority of your sentences in active voice. The benefits to your writing are huge.

Defining Terms: What are passive and active voice?

First, let’s look at what we mean by these terms. Get ready, some grammar nerd activity is coming your way (hopefully minimal).

“Active voice” means the subject performs the action. “Passive voice” means the verb acts on the subject. For example:

• Active: Tom ate the whole quart of ice cream.
• Passive: The whole quart of ice cream was eaten by Tom.

In our examples above, Tom is the subject of the active construction, and the whole quart of ice cream the subject of the passive.

Another example:

• A: The shady businessman laundered his money through the Chinese restaurant.
• P: The money was laundered through the Chinese restaurant [by the shady businessman].

(Note: I have nothing against Chinese restaurants and also don’t assume they’re shady! It’s just an example.)

An interesting effect of the passive voice is you don’t have to specify who is doing the acting. In our second example, we could say, “The money was laundered through the Chinese restaurant by the shady businessman,” but we don’t have to. The actor is open-ended. The emphasis is on the laundered money.

Now, this might be a reason to use the passive voice—for a certain emphasis. Or you might have a character who’s fidgety with direct speech.

Advantages of Active Voice

In both examples above, the passive construction is much more indirect. Nine times out of ten, your book will benefit when you are direct (active voice).

The active voice is also more clear. This is a powerful sentence construction. And it’s almost always more interesting to read—remember, your goal is to entice your readers all the way through your book.

Active voice gives you the advantage of simplifying your sentence structure. Do you have sentences with strings of clauses that are tying you (and your readers) in knots? Almost 100% of the time, these sentences lean on passive construction. Time to recast them in the active voice.

Another benefit to using the active voice is that you get to use strong action verbs. Maybe Tom didn’t just eat, he devoured that quart of ice cream. They high-tailed it out of the gym, she slammed the report on my desk, he shrieked like a demon as the piano leg came down on his foot. Two benefits for the price of one!

If you’re writing a book with a lot of action in it, active voice is for you.

Because of its clarity, active voice is also what I recommend for business and how-to books. Stop beating around the bush. You’re making a case for a specific course of action; what advantages do you get from being indirect?

Consider Perspective and Emphasis

I mentioned that you can use passive voice for emphasis. For example:

• A: She slammed the report on my desk. [We’ve noticed who’s doing the slamming!]
• P: The report was slammed on my desk. [We’ve noticed the slam.]

Where is your emphasis? Is it on the actor of the verb? Or the action itself? Or perhaps the object? We don’t have to slam reports, we can also slam books, wineglasses, backpacks, dinner plates, fists, etc. on the desk.

You can also make fun additions with the passive voice:

• Passive v. 2: The report was slammed on my desk by Pat, whose glasses sat askew on her nose. [Again, we notice Pat after the slam; this could especially be fun if the reader is expecting someone ELSE to slam the report. And we’ve added more details about the emotional state surrounding the slam.]

Whether you use active or passive voice, you focus your writing in a certain way. Think about where you want your readers to focus. Is clarity paramount? Or are you working with some suspense or misdirection? Whatever you do should be intentional.

Bottom Line: Passive Has its Place, and It’s a Small One

We don’t need to kill off the passive voice entirely (what would the sciences and law do??). When you want to emphasize what was done over who did it, the passive voice is your friend. If you don’t know who did it, ditto. Or if you want to sidestep that information.

However, this is a small percentage of what you are writing (hopefully).

Most of the time, passive is boring. Think about the word itself: passive. According to Merriam-Webster, one of its definitions is “lacking in energy or will: lethargic.”

Who wants a lethargic book? Certainly not me.

Use with care.
== ==

Is the passive voice one of your writing foibles? Get a manuscript evaluation and critique to help you tighten up your prose.

Subscribe to the monthly newsletter & receive instant access to How to Find an Editor: a Resource for Independent and Self-Publishing Writers, plus all blogs delivered straight to your inbox, plus any upcoming local events and indie publishing tidbits I share.