Build Story Muscle: Create Good Transitions

At most Toastmasters meetings, one person is assigned to be the “Ah Counter.” Their job is to listen for overused words or filler sounds (and, well, but, so, you know, ah, and um, for example). In my old club, the Ah Counter used a clicker; I’m not sure whether this is common anymore. Clicking on filler words was surprisingly hard to do—you had to pay special attention, have quick reflexes, AND overcome the (to me) natural hesitation to shame someone. Most people hated being the Ah Counter. After I got over my initial nerves, though, I loved being clicked. Without the extra cue, I simply hadn’t heard how much filler I was using.

Why do we use filler words? One of the (many) reasons is as transitional elements, to lead us from one thought to the next. Simply lining up two anecdotes next to each other doesn’t mean they’re related, and unless we think about how to connect them, many of us who are not trained speakers default to filler.

Filler words work because they fill the space with sound, even if they don’t convey meaning—or when they, unfortunately, distract your audience from what you are trying to say. What I learned from giving and receiving Ah Counter feedback was that I needed to pay attention to my transitions.

The same goes for your writing. Simply juxtaposing one scene, anecdote, or fact next to another does not mean they are related. In some cases, you can get away with this habit (I hesitate to call it a technique). But usually, this leads to flabby, uninteresting, and disjointed prose.

Why transition?

At its most basic, you want your reader to finish your book.

Most of us don’t prepare to be Ah Counters every morning, parsing all our conversations for filler. Likewise, most readers won’t be sitting there with a clicker—or a pencil and paper, making tick marks for every shoddy transition. But even the most distracted reader will notice bad writing habits…and they don’t reward them.

One of my editing colleagues recently told me about a writing client who started nearly every sentence of the (memoir) manuscript with the word “I.” Another told me about someone who used “well…” to start nearly every line of dialogue. How long would you keep reading these books?

And beyond this, most writers that I know want their books to be an elegant and clear development of their ideas. When you transition well, you connect the dots: clarify the concepts or facts, if you are a nonfiction writer, and guide your reader through character and plot development, if you write fiction. You build story muscle.

The good news is, you don’t need a lot of words to do this work.

Find the Dots…and Connect Them

Transitions work best when you know where they should go. Here are a few pointers to guide you:

• Think about the separate chunks that make up your book. Chapter breaks are one obvious chunk, though a crude one. Within each chapter you probably move through different scenes and ideas—these chunks are important as well. Make a note of where they break. These are the dots you want to connect.
• Look at the sentences and paragraphs that border two adjoining chunks. Do the ideas flow logically from one to the next? If you’re changing location, or time, or switching character viewpoints, is that switch clear? This step is especially important if you’ve been moving things around.
• If the juncture is not clear, or it’s jarring, how can you stitch the chunks together and create forward momentum? Although geared toward essays, the Owl at Purdue has great suggestions under Transitional Devices you can use.
• You can also use thematic links to great effect. Examples include light and mood in H is for Hawk, and the way Jack Torrance wipes his hand over his lips in The Shining. The transition is implied, rather than highlighted.
• One sentence, or a few words, may be all you need. A good recent example is Megan McArdle’s The Up Side of Down: Why Failing Well is the Key to Success. Notice what she does with one sentence at the end of the chapter. Jane Harper does a nice job with cliffhangers and breaks mid-chapter in her mystery novel, The Dry.

If you try a number of transitional strategies, and the result still doesn’t make sense, it’s possible those two chunks don’t belong next to each other. Use this information to build a better book; move the pieces so they line up more clearly.

The bottom line

Instead of filler which can distract your reader and lead them to abandon your book, sew your story together with muscle: create transitions that hold interest, connect related ideas and characters, and give an elegant form to your story. Like the Ah Counter, you’ll need to learn to pay attention, develop your revision reflexes, and overcome your fear of change.

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Need help getting clear on your book? Want to get out of your own head? Let’s chat. I have a one-on-one coaching spot available, or you might benefit from outline development.

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